Entries Tagged 'Managing Stress' ↓

Friends,

I got a troubling text from a friend the other day. He wrote me a message saying he needed help dealing with the people. So I asked him: “whch pple?”

“Jst evryone,” he texted me back. Confused, I asked for more details, “why everyone?”

He replied, “please call back.” I hesitated, but remembering my obligations, I decided to call back—I mean I am supposed to be a friend, a counselor, a consultant, a doctor . . .

Here was his story–at least his side of it:

First, he apologized for sending me a “please call back.” He said he could not afford airtime to call me himself because of the downward spiral his life was now in . . .

He said that his problems started with rumors that there would be lay-offs at work. He said his first mistake was NOT sharing these rumors, which puzzled me because I believe that gossip or rumor mongering is bad. But he explained that he should have shared the rumors with his wife and family. Why? Friends, because the rumors quickly turned into grim reality . . .

He was retrenched. As a result, he couldn’t pay his mortgage. In a matter of weeks, he got a foreclosure notice, and so the spiral went on . . .

But he soon realized these were far from his biggest problems. First were feelings of blame. It took him days to disclose to his family that he had received the dreaded letter at work, so when the foreclosure notice came this week, his family was shocked. They hadn’t had a chance to absorb the news of his job loss.

Now he’s confronted with feelings of shame—he is so embarrassed, he can’t face the public. So when he came to me the other day, he needed help dealing with the people first: his family and the rest of us.

The whole world is in financial turmoil—not just the people on Wall Street. And while news of this drama was playing out on the news, my friend was busy watching sports on pay-per-view—now he’s another statistic. The truth is people often feel like they are different and somehow immune to the hard facts of the recession.

For anyone facing bankruptcy, foreclosure, or job loss, facing the people (both family and the community) can be the most difficult challenge. In situations like these, people feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and unsure how to answer all the questions that inevitably come. But there are things you can do to overcome this challenge. Here are my suggestions.

1. Determine the REAL Problem

Firstly (ideally in the first few days), anyone facing a situation like this should engage in intellectualization to find out what his or her main problem really is. When my friend explained his problem, I immediately thought he was missing the point. What do you think?

2. Quantify the Problem

When I talked to my friend, I told him he should quantify his problem. One sure way to accomplish this is to look at how this crisis in his life measures on the Social Readjustment Rating Scale found in many psychology and stress books. On this scale, your crisis is given a score based on how much it would affect your life. This score is based on studies that were done around the world on people in similar situations and was shown to be a reliable and consistent way to measure human social crisis.

3. Determine Your Assets, and Use Them

The next step is to capitalize and build on your personality. I told my friend he could take a quick but detailed test available on www.personality100.com. This could help him recognize his strengths as a person, which he could use to fight any obstacles on his way to recovery.

4. Address Your Feelings

He should certainly practice repression; this should take care of his feelings of shame. This strategy allows you to be less clouded in your thinking so that rational thinking guides your decisions. Again, most psychology and well-written stress books should have a good explanation on how to employ this tactic.

5. Make a Plan

And last but not least, anyone facing job loss, bankruptcy, or foreclosure should resort to regression and craft short-term and long-term life goals. Making a plan, and taking action to execute it, will leave you feeling empowered with solutions, instead of trapped by complications.

Coping with Your Financial Stress

Financial problems may feel like the end of the world, but they really aren’t. If you find yourself in a problematic situation like my friend, you can use these five steps to overcome embarrassment and put your life on a new path to success! Feel free to visit our blog: http://conciseinteractiveseries.blogspot.com/

About the Author

Joe Theu, M.D., is the author of the book: 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling, which describes these strategies well. The book is available on www.amazon.com and other major bookstores. If you’d like more information about how to cope with stress and about all these psychology strategies, visit www.conciseinteractiveseries.com.

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Indiana, USA (6 April,2009) – As job loss, bankruptcy, and divorce skyrocket with the global recession, the people facing these troubling financial hardships are struggling to cope. The weight of these issues can be unbearable, and this stress affects both mental and physical health. Depression and suicide are on the rise, and more and more people are looking for ways just to get through the day.

The new book, 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling (ISBN-13: 978-1438941295), helps readers tackle major life crises, such as job loss, divorce, and bankruptcy, with a simple yet scientific practical approach. The author, international consultant Dr. Joe Theu, presents a system to help his readers work through a crisis in a day-by-day format from day 1 up to day 21 and beyond with interactive exercises and action plans that makes it useful as a daily companion.

“Thousands of people worldwide have lost their jobs due to this recession,” said Dr. Theu. “We hear the statistics every night on the news, but what many don’t see are the struggles that take place inside the homes of these people who are struggling financially. The strategies in my book are designed to help people cope with the everyday hardships that come with the financial burdens that are so commonplace in today’s struggling economy.”

Both employees who’ve lost their jobs and the employers who want to help them will find solace in the strategies outlined in 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling.

“Stress can feel like a complicated and overwhelming problem for many… Dr. Theu has put forward a concise plan with effective solutions that can pave way for real change both for the person as well as his or her circumstances.” Kimberly Mehta, LPC (USA).

Joe Theu is an international consultant and talk show guest, who answers questions from people with different challenging situations. He is the author of 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling, part of the Concise Interactive Series, and the forthcoming How to Profit from Your Illness. He also publishes the Stress Management Today newsletter. Joe Theu’s works on www.conciseinteractiveseries.com are inspired by his radio talk shows.

Joe Theu can be contacted for interviews by e-mail to drjoetheu@gmail.com , or with Skype id: drjoetheu. 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling can be purchased on www.amazon.com, www.authorhouse.com, and other major book stores.

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I read in my local newspaper recently about this guy who is a ‘Laughterologist’. He offered some workshops in the area to introduce locals to the benefit of aerobic laughter.

Apparently you can get an excellent cardio and aerobic workout by rediscovering your natural laughing capabilities. Kids laugh a lot when they are small and we all tend to laugh a lot less when we grow up (yeah, don’t we just know it!) but laughter is an excellent way to combat stress. Aerobic laughter triggers the body’s natural de-stressing mechanisms. This sounded great so I checked out their website. What a disappointment.

For people that are supposed to be all about laughter and de-stressing, they are pretty serious about their copyright and trademarks!

In fact, no further information available on their site except a lot of links leading off to dire warnings about their copyright and trademark. Urk… I mean - can they really take out a trademark on the words MAKE THEM LAUGH?

On one of their sites they state:
“Make them Laugh is a new slogan used worldwide to market laughter services provided by individuals or legal persons licensed by International Laughter Institute.”

Frankly, things like this make my blood boil and increases my stress levels instead of decreasing it.

Who gives them the right to trademark the words “MAKE THEM LAUGH” ???? My understanding was always that you can only trademark a really unique term, not something that is in ubiquitous use?

See http://www.inlaughter.org…

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We are all too likely in today’s society to resort to medication to help with issues such as stress, anxiety and depression.

Most medical practitioners will tell you that your depression, stress and/or anxiety is due to an imbalance of chemicals in your brain.

What they don’t really tell you is that they are not sure themselves whether this imbalance is the cause or the symptom of your depression/anxiety/stress.

Chris Green, the author of the book Conquering Stress has written this free guide about his opinion on the use of medication to treat stress. It makes for interesting reading, and it is available for free download here.

Click on the link and select ‘Save Target As’ to save this short report on your local PC:
Conquering Stress Chemical Imbalance Facts Report

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Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time.  It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present. 

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help.  When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task. 

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

Relax and be cool. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

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I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what?s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too ? unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

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Life isn?t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere ? ?How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?? Then I pause and observed for awhile? I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ?self?.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting”. To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have, truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy”.

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person?s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you - every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself ?Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of “happiness”. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try - that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy”?. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy - you become free.”

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One of the more fascinating measures taken for stress relief can be had with an art therapy. With so many different forms of therapy today it’s tough to know which are the most effective for which condition, but art therapy enjoys great success in helping people suffering from a collection of conditions that are both physical and mental. If you are looking for an exciting method for relieving stress, art therapy is a good option.

An art therapy session will help you show others how art can lead to self awareness and understanding, as well as how soothing it can be to engage in the creative process. Taking the time to focus on a piece of art alone can make a tremendous difference in how we live and think and can reduce stress amazingly. Art therapy also helps people to discover things about themselves based on what they draw. It is a good tool that psychologists use in assessing their patients.

Receiving art therapy can be done at your own pace if you go about finding places that offer it online. This is great for those who have families and can’t change their lives. Art therapy will help you to get a better understanding of yourself and your lifestyle. It is a great way for you to find and get rid of the problems that you may be facing. Many hospitals and doctors offices would recommend art therapy but it can be difficult to find the right place for you so be sure to do your research before signing up with anyone in particular.

If you can imagine all of the artists out there who use their art as a means of expressing themselves, it will be easier for you to see that you can do it too. You don?t necessarily have to be a perfect artist to benefit from this type of therapy; however, it helps to use this therapy as a means of expressing yourself. It is a great resource for getting out those feelings which can often be harmful when not expressed. Art has always been used as a way to express oneself so why not make it a part of your stress relief regimen?

If you are having a hard time dealing with your everyday stresses and if you are wondering what you can do to help ease your stresses, you should consider art therapy as a means of helping you. It can?t hurt to give it a try. With alternative medicine becoming a preferred way to dealing with life?s problems, art therapy is just a drug free method of controlling your stress which can also help to reduce many of your common illnesses. Search online for art therapy classes in your area.

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They say there’s more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It’s a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I’ll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it’s not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you’ve got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I’ve learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines?. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

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We all have this favorite expression when it comes to being stressed out, and I wouldn’t bother naming all of them since it may also vary in different languages. But when it comes down to it, I think that it is how we work or even relax, for that matter that triggers stress. Ever been stressed even when you’re well relaxed and bored? I know I have.

Since stress is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease negative reactions to stress. Here are some of the things that can be done by just remembering it, since life is basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say - every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This will help reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

• Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for yourself.
• Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time.
• Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect your time to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.
• Manage your commitments by not over- or undercommitting. Don’t commit to what is not important to you.
• Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.
• Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.

Build healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how you cope in a stress journal. With this information, you can work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Lifestyle


Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

• Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.
• Have a sense of purpose in life.
• Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.
• Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
• Get moderate exercise throughout the week.
• Limit your consumption of alcohol.
• Don’t smoke.

Social support


Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Changing thinking


When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body’s stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.

• Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress.
• Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event incorrectly.
• Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event and find ways to deal with it.
• Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder to improve your communication style.

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