Five Stress Management Secrets for Challenging Times: How to Use …

The way we handle stress is always a factor in our success in challenging times. Unmanaged, stress can hold us back from being successful Once.

Publish Date: 08/31/2010 16:34

http://healthnew.org/2010/08/five-stress-management-secrets-for-challenging-times-how-to-use-stress-for-your-career-success/

I got a troubling text from a friend the other day. He wrote me a message saying he needed help dealing with the people. So I asked him: “whch pple?”

“Jst evryone,” he texted me back. Confused, I asked for more details, “why everyone?”

He replied, “please call back.” I hesitated, but remembering my obligations, I decided to call back—I mean I am supposed to be a friend, a counselor, a consultant, a doctor . . .

Here was his story–at least his side of it:

First, he apologized for sending me a “please call back.” He said he could not afford airtime to call me himself because of the downward spiral his life was now in . . .

He said that his problems started with rumors that there would be lay-offs at work. He said his first mistake was NOT sharing these rumors, which puzzled me because I believe that gossip or rumor mongering is bad. But he explained that he should have shared the rumors with his wife and family. Why? Friends, because the rumors quickly turned into grim reality . . .

He was retrenched. As a result, he couldn’t pay his mortgage. In a matter of weeks, he got a foreclosure notice, and so the spiral went on . . .

But he soon realized these were far from his biggest problems. First were feelings of blame. It took him days to disclose to his family that he had received the dreaded letter at work, so when the foreclosure notice came this week, his family was shocked. They hadn’t had a chance to absorb the news of his job loss.

Now he’s confronted with feelings of shame—he is so embarrassed, he can’t face the public. So when he came to me the other day, he needed help dealing with the people first: his family and the rest of us.

The whole world is in financial turmoil—not just the people on Wall Street. And while news of this drama was playing out on the news, my friend was busy watching sports on pay-per-view—now he’s another statistic. The truth is people often feel like they are different and somehow immune to the hard facts of the recession.

For anyone facing bankruptcy, foreclosure, or job loss, facing the people (both family and the community) can be the most difficult challenge. In situations like these, people feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and unsure how to answer all the questions that inevitably come. But there are things you can do to overcome this challenge. Here are my suggestions.

1. Determine the REAL Problem

Firstly (ideally in the first few days), anyone facing a situation like this should engage in intellectualization to find out what his or her main problem really is. When my friend explained his problem, I immediately thought he was missing the point. What do you think?

2. Quantify the Problem

When I talked to my friend, I told him he should quantify his problem. One sure way to accomplish this is to look at how this crisis in his life measures on the Social Readjustment Rating Scale found in many psychology and stress books. On this scale, your crisis is given a score based on how much it would affect your life. This score is based on studies that were done around the world on people in similar situations and was shown to be a reliable and consistent way to measure human social crisis.

3. Determine Your Assets, and Use Them

The next step is to capitalize and build on your personality. I told my friend he could take a quick but detailed test available on www.personality100.com. This could help him recognize his strengths as a person, which he could use to fight any obstacles on his way to recovery.

4. Address Your Feelings

He should certainly practice repression; this should take care of his feelings of shame. This strategy allows you to be less clouded in your thinking so that rational thinking guides your decisions. Again, most psychology and well-written stress books should have a good explanation on how to employ this tactic.

5. Make a Plan

And last but not least, anyone facing job loss, bankruptcy, or foreclosure should resort to regression and craft short-term and long-term life goals. Making a plan, and taking action to execute it, will leave you feeling empowered with solutions, instead of trapped by complications.

Coping with Your Financial Stress

Financial problems may feel like the end of the world, but they really aren’t. If you find yourself in a problematic situation like my friend, you can use these five steps to overcome embarrassment and put your life on a new path to success! Feel free to visit our blog: http://conciseinteractiveseries.blogspot.com/

About the Author

Joe Theu, M.D., is the author of the book: 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling, which describes these strategies well. The book is available on www.amazon.com and other major bookstores. If you’d like more information about how to cope with stress and about all these psychology strategies, visit www.conciseinteractiveseries.com.

The new book, 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling (ISBN-13: 978-1438941295), helps readers tackle major life crises, such as job loss, divorce, and bankruptcy, with a simple yet scientific practical approach. The author, international consultant Dr. Joe Theu, presents a system to help his readers work through a crisis in a day-by-day format from day 1 up to day 21 and beyond with interactive exercises and action plans that makes it useful as a daily companion.

“Thousands of people worldwide have lost their jobs due to this recession,” said Dr. Theu. “We hear the statistics every night on the news, but what many don’t see are the struggles that take place inside the homes of these people who are struggling financially. The strategies in my book are designed to help people cope with the everyday hardships that come with the financial burdens that are so commonplace in today’s struggling economy.”

Both employees who’ve lost their jobs and the employers who want to help them will find solace in the strategies outlined in 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling.

“Stress can feel like a complicated and overwhelming problem for many… Dr. Theu has put forward a concise plan with effective solutions that can pave way for real change both for the person as well as his or her circumstances.” Kimberly Mehta, LPC (USA).

Joe Theu is an international consultant and talk show guest, who answers questions from people with different challenging situations. He is the author of 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling, part of the Concise Interactive Series, and the forthcoming How to Profit from Your Illness. He also publishes the Stress Management Today newsletter. Joe Theu’s works on www.conciseinteractiveseries.com are inspired by his radio talk shows.

Joe Theu can be contacted for interviews by e-mail to drjoetheu@gmail.com , or with Skype id: drjoetheu. 7 Proven Steps: How to Defeat Stress without Going through the Embarrassment of Counseling can be purchased on www.amazon.com, www.authorhouse.com, and other major book stores.

Apparently you can get an excellent cardio and aerobic workout by rediscovering your natural laughing capabilities. Kids laugh a lot when they are small and we all tend to laugh a lot less when we grow up (yeah, don’t we just know it!) but laughter is an excellent way to combat stress. Aerobic laughter triggers the body’s natural de-stressing mechanisms. This sounded great so I checked out their website. What a disappointment.

For people that are supposed to be all about laughter and de-stressing, they are pretty serious about their copyright and trademarks!

In fact, no further information available on their site except a lot of links leading off to dire warnings about their copyright and trademark. Urk… I mean - can they really take out a trademark on the words MAKE THEM LAUGH?

On one of their sites they state:
“Make them Laugh is a new slogan used worldwide to market laughter services provided by individuals or legal persons licensed by International Laughter Institute.”

Frankly, things like this make my blood boil and increases my stress levels instead of decreasing it.

Who gives them the right to trademark the words “MAKE THEM LAUGH” ???? My understanding was always that you can only trademark a really unique term, not something that is in ubiquitous use?

See http://www.inlaughter.org…

We are all too likely in today’s society to resort to medication to help with issues such as stress, anxiety and depression.

Most medical practitioners will tell you that your depression, stress and/or anxiety is due to an imbalance of chemicals in your brain.

What they don’t really tell you is that they are not sure themselves whether this imbalance is the cause or the symptom of your depression/anxiety/stress.

Chris Green, the author of the book Conquering Stress has written this free guide about his opinion on the use of medication to treat stress. It makes for interesting reading, and it is available for free download here.

Click on the link and select ‘Save Target As’ to save this short report on your local PC:
Conquering Stress Chemical Imbalance Facts Report

The latest definition of stress is:

The inability of our body to cope with the excess demands that any situation asks for.

Stress occurs due to various reasons like changes in lifestyle or environment, changes at work, family, or financial problems.

Stress can come in three forms. These three forms are emotional stress, physical stress, and chemical stress.

Emotional stress is the stress that we feel in reaction to certain events in our lives and this is the most common form of stress that we are familiar with today. This deals with feelings of tension and irritability and other extreme emotional reactions to events.

Physical stress can arise from physical demands that we place on our body – overtiredness, not enough sleep, pushing our bodies beyond the limits or even physical injury.

Chemical stress deal with the environment that we live in and the types of chemicals that we ingest in our daily lives – either through pollutants in the air or embedded in the food that we eat. These chemicals places a strain on our body and general health and leads to chemical stress in our bodies.

It is clear that this new definition of stress permeates our every day live to a large extent and it is up to us to manage all the various aspects of our daily live that can contribute to any of these types of stresses.

What is a stress diary?
You know that you ’suffer from stress’, you know that you fly off the handle at the slighted provocation because you are always feeling tired and irritable - but you don’t know why and you feel powerless to stop it.

Keeping a stress diary is a useful way of identifying those things that cause you stress, and how much stress they actually cause you!

How does a stress diary work?
Basically you need to keep a diary each day and take note of the following:

• Date and time of entry
• Whether there was any particular event that made you feel tense and stressed
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed did you feel
• What symptoms of stress were you exhibiting
• How did you handle the stress (if at all!)

You should keep this diary over a period of time such as a couple of weeks so that you can start identifying patterns of behaviors and events. Soon you will start to be able to identify:

• Which events outside your control is causing you stress (examples include standing in queues, dealing with obnoxious customers etc) and how you reacted to these events. Remember, ultimately it is your own behavior, your reaction to the event that is causing you stress. You need to learn how to modify your behavior to these events so that you experience less stress. As soon as you can identify your behavioral patterns and your reactions to certain events, you can start to manage your stress levels.
• Which stressors were self induced BY your behavior? Examples would include – ignoring the alarm clock and then getting stressed because you are late for work, or, the killer, taking on too much responsibility and work because you think you can handle it and then running out of time (and feeling stressed as a consequence) to complete the tasks.

As soon as you can identify your responses to stressful events and the behaviors that are causing self-induced stress levels you can start doing something about it.

We might not know it but stress can actually do more damage to your body than most people think. Most people take advantage of their body’s limit and push it to extreme just to get the job done, while thinking that their body will adapt to the stress they impose upon it.

But truth to tell, our body have a certain capacity in which it can function; exceed those capacities and you will end up in one of the rooms of the hospital waiting for your body to recover. Stress can affect you in many ways – physical, mental and emotional functions are disrupted gaining you the inability to function properly whether social, personal or career work.

Stress effects on your body

There is a certain degree in which stress can affect your body. A stressed person will complain of headaches and body pains here and there. If left unchecked, this will lead to migraine and muscle tension that will eventually lead to stiffness.

Major changes will affect the biochemical functions of your body. This involves diarrhea, constipation, nausea and dizziness. You will find it hard to sleep at nights even if you feel week and needs rest. People usually resort to medications to counter this effect, but will only give temporary remedy.

To those who suffer from a weak heart, most often they will complain of chest pains and rapid heartbeat – the usual signs and symptoms that will eventually lead to stroke or cardiac arrest.  Note however that different physical manifestations of stress can be seen for different people, it all depends on your body’s capacity.

Behavioral problems related to stress

Aside from physical manifestations of stress in your body, you might also notice some behavioral changes while under the throes of stress. Changes in sleeping patterns, lack of sleep or inability to sleep during normal slumber hours is usually the initial reactions to stress – these are usually caused by heightened emotional and mental functions which is more into the negative aspect rather than positive.

Self-pity and isolation is caused by the depressed mental state of the person when certain problems crop up in their every day life. Irritability and anger will start when the person is bereft of his or her natural ability to rationalize which is usually the case when stressed or being burdened by heavy problems.

How to cope

There are different techniques that a person can employ to avoid these manifestations of stress in their life. The first technique, and the most important one, is learning how to relax when stress pays you a visit. You an employ techniques like meditation, breathing exercises, aromatherapy, or music therapy to induce a state of relaxation to your mind. Once you have achieved this step, you can proceed on how to deal with stress that affects your body.

Since most of your physiological functions are imbalanced due to stress, you can start by pampering your body through various massages offered by health spas within your neighborhood. Loosen those tight muscles to relieve assorted aches and pains and increasing your flexibility.

Physical exercise can also help develop cardiovascular functions and strengthening your heart to avoid stroke or rapid heart rate. Also, you need to keep a close lookout on your diet, make sure you avoid taking in junk foods and fast foods that will elevate harmful chemicals in your body.

Try to stick with fruits and vegetables and take in herbal supplements to help rejuvenate your body.

Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time.  It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present. 

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help.  When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task. 

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

Relax and be cool. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too - unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.