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What is a stress diary?
You know that you ’suffer from stress’, you know that you fly off the handle at the slighted provocation because you are always feeling tired and irritable - but you don’t know why and you feel powerless to stop it.

Keeping a stress diary is a useful way of identifying those things that cause you stress, and how much stress they actually cause you!

How does a stress diary work?
Basically you need to keep a diary each day and take note of the following:

• Date and time of entry
• Whether there was any particular event that made you feel tense and stressed
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed did you feel
• What symptoms of stress were you exhibiting
• How did you handle the stress (if at all!)

You should keep this diary over a period of time such as a couple of weeks so that you can start identifying patterns of behaviors and events. Soon you will start to be able to identify:

• Which events outside your control is causing you stress (examples include standing in queues, dealing with obnoxious customers etc) and how you reacted to these events. Remember, ultimately it is your own behavior, your reaction to the event that is causing you stress. You need to learn how to modify your behavior to these events so that you experience less stress. As soon as you can identify your behavioral patterns and your reactions to certain events, you can start to manage your stress levels.
• Which stressors were self induced BY your behavior? Examples would include – ignoring the alarm clock and then getting stressed because you are late for work, or, the killer, taking on too much responsibility and work because you think you can handle it and then running out of time (and feeling stressed as a consequence) to complete the tasks.

As soon as you can identify your responses to stressful events and the behaviors that are causing self-induced stress levels you can start doing something about it.

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If you really think about it, we all suffer from the same stressors and pressures on a day to day basis, yet some people do not seem to be affected by it while others become irritable, snap at their children and lie awake at night worrying over things.

Why is that? Why is it that some people can just seem to cruise through life without seeming to feel the heat (damn them!) while others can hardly cope?

The secret is that stress is not due to things that happen to us ? we all have to cope with demanding jobs, demanding and unreasonable bosses, lack of time, too little money! It is how we each, individually react to these things, these stressors, that make the difference. Some people are just more prone to stress than others. Whether these reactions are naturally born in or whether we learn them when we grow up is a good question, but the fact remains that different personality types react differently to stressors.

It is a well known fact that there are Type A and Type B personalities, where Type A personalities are driven, tend to become workaholics, and end up having heart attacks and nervous breakdowns, whereas Type B personalities are much more calm and collected and seem to take things in their stride without too much fuss and bother. What is not so well known however, is that the majority of people are Type A personalities, which mean that most of us tend to be too stressed for our own good!

What makes this personality type so much more susceptible to stress is exactly the fact that they are driven to perform. This often make them place undue pressure on themselves by taking on more and more responsibilities, or under-estimating the amount of time or effort a task will take, or over-estimating their own abilities. This inevitably lead to too little time, inability to complete tasks through juggling too many tasks at the same time, leading to irritability, inability to make decisions, suffering from anxiety, insomnia and feeling constantly tired.

But other personality traits can also lead to stress reactions. If you are familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality profile (take the online test on www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp) you will know that people tend to have four major aspects to their personalities. These four axes have two dimensions each on the opposite end of the scale, and the four aspects, combined with two sides to the scale give 16 different personality types. http://www.e-mbti.com/

The four aspects are:
Where you draw your energy from and where you spend your energy. If you are on the Introversion side (I) of the scale, you draw your energy from within and you tend to focus on your inner thoughts and ideas. If you tend to the Extroversion side (E), you focus on other people and things.

How you perceive things or take in information to base decisions on: This is either Sensing (S) or Intuition (N). This indicate how a person prefers to receive data from the environment around him ? either through his senses, or through Intuition (”gut feel”)

How you make decisions : The two scales are based on Feeling (F) ? using your emotions when you make decisions, or Thinking (T), using rational thought, or logic, to make decisions

How you relate to the world around you and order your life: The two scales here are Judging (P) and Perceiving (P). If you tend towards the Judging side, you will typically like your world to be ordered and controlled. If you tend towards the Perceiving side, you would be more adaptable and flexible.

Please note that these are sliding scales. Each person has aspects of both sides of each scale present, in other words, you would never get someone who is fully Introverted or fully Extroverted ? somebody like this would definitely be classified as psychotic or insane. But most people have a definite preference for the one mode above the other.

It is clear to see now how some personality types might be more inclined to react stressed to certain situations where the opposite type might not find the same situation stressful at all.

Take the example of an Introvert who has to go a party where he does not know anyone AND make a speech in front of a completely foreign group of people. The Introverted person will probably suffer from severe stress and anxiety when confronted with this situation whereas the Extroverted type person would relish in the attention and the opportunity to meet new people.

Another source of possible stress can occur where people whose lifestyle tend to be more Judging, has to confront a change in plans or a change in lifestyle. These types of people like to have order in their lives, they like to plan ahead and they rather tend to be ‘control freaks’. For these people, a sudden change in plan such as holiday plans that have to be suddenly aborted, a flight that has been delayed, or a change in circumstances such as moving house is incredibly stressful.

How does this affect you? It is really a case of “know thyself”.

Most Type A personality types would not admit that they ARE personality type A, or that they are workaholics. If you know that you are more inclined to be a personality type A you can be aware of the fact that you are also inclined to take on too much work and tend to over commit yourself.

If you are aware of your Myers-Brig personality profile you will realize WHY you feel so stressed if you have to deal with a lot of people, or if you are a ‘J’, why you feel so anxious and irritable if plans suddenly have to change and you can consciously try and either avoid these types of situations or consciously try and deal with them through applying some stress management techniques.

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Our ancient forefathers had to deal with poor sanitation, violent attacks upon their person, diseases for which there were no cures, in fact, everything that makes the modern man or woman shudder right down to the points of their little Gucci shoes.

The fact of the matter is that modern man and modern woman have to deal with stresses that were not really known to ancient or even not-so-ancient man. The stress that we have to deal with today are much more related to psychological factors than physical factors.

Stress in the modern world is primarily related to our self esteem and our sense of self-worth, and less with physical discomfort and threats. Up to about 60 to 80 years ago, work was seen as a necessary evil to provide for the basic necessities of life. People did not stress about their work and their careers (or at least, if they did, we don't really know about it!).

But in the past couple of years, work has increasingly started to be seen as a way to personal fulfillment. Job satisfaction gives a sense of purpose and meaning to live.

But this also means then that a large proportion of stress arises from work related stressors. We have to deal with a constant bombardment of information, forcing decisions upon us on a daily basis that tap our energies and cause us stress (which type of coffee to choose from a bewildering array of choices while the queue mounts up behind you, grumbling all the while), whether we really think so or not. Work relationships can add to workplace stress, as well as the one culprit that probably contributes the most to stress ? work overload.

New technology is forcing us to have to learn more and more, and to react faster to new developments almost on a daily basis.

More women now work than ever before, yet, the amount of responsibilities that they have in the home have not reduced correspondingly. This adds to a lack of time to relax and get rid of those bad stress hormones!

The problem is that people who are under stress does not perform well in the workplace. They make bad decisions and their health ultimately deteriorates. Workplace stress is therefore one of the biggest problems today faced by both the individual as well as the employer and it is endemic of the modern lifestyle and the information age that we live in.

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Stress is often called a modern disease since it seems as if it is a disease or malady particularly applicable to today’s lifestyle.

One needs to question whether people in older times also were not subjected to stress. After all, a few years ago people did not have access to the level of modern medicine that we have today and illnesses such as Tuberculosis and further back, other illnesses such as plagues, caused great hardship, death and surely stress? Similarly, people had much less access to physical comforts (indoor plumbing comes to mind…) and the world also went through various major wars. Surely that should have contributed to stress for people living in those times?

The biggest difference between those times and today though is that up to the beginning of the last century people tended to live quite physically active lives – the majority of people tended to work at physical labor, and the lifestyle in general was more physical (no TV!). This tended to alleviate the physical symptoms of stress.

What I mean by that is that stress has a large physical component to it. The human body has been engineered to react physically to danger – the so-called ‘fight or flight’ reaction. This reaction is brought about by the central nervous system and is not something that we have any conscious control over – much like breathing! The reaction prepares us physically to react to dangerous situations by making sure that we have more adrenalin in our bloodstream so that we can run or fight, our heart would beat faster, our muscles would fill with blood, we would start to breath faster.

Stress reactions are also controlled by the central nervous system, and although not as extreme as the fight-or-flight reaction, it has a more insidious effect since our modern life-style does not permit a physical reaction to the stressor – you can hardly punch your boss in the face if he irritates you!

This means that while there are a lot of stressors that could cause physical stress reactions – much the same type of physical reactions as the one brought about by the fight-or-flight reaction just to a lesser degree, the problem is that our bodies have much less of a physical outlet to get rid of these effects. We have much more sedentary life-styles than in previous years. The physical effects of these stressors (factors which cause us stress) therefore build up in our bodies and eventually manifest themselves over the long term in the form of physical and mental ailments – heart disease, digestive problems, tension headaches, insomnia, loss of weight, susceptibility to colds and flu and a general weak immune system.

But without stress, on the other hand, life would be extremely boring! We need a certain amount of stress in our lives in order to function properly. Stress is what makes us perform at our best, stress adds spice to life! It is how we each individually react to stressors that make the difference. Stress can therefore be defined as the state that we are in when the demands that are made upon us exceed our ability to cope – and this differs from person to person.

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Not all stress is bad. Stress can start change, aid you in focusing the task at hand, and in some cases can even save your life. Although a build up of stress can result in major risks. Do not let stress accumulate otherwise the result can be fatal.

There are tips and steps in managing your stress. The first thing you need to do is determine and understand the cause of your stress or the stressors. By recognizing the stressors, you can put each of them in place and deal with them one by one.

Breathing And Relaxing

Oxygen is very important to the body. Taking a deep breath adds oxygen to the system, which can help you relax. Learning how to breathe can help you maintain your self-control in a stressful situation.

You can start by taking a deep breath. Stand up and stretch. Always remember that the opposite of stress is relaxation. Take a short walk, get a glass a glass of water and do something that can change your focus. Try smiling and take a short moment focusing on something else other than your problem. By the time you get back to your problem, it would not seem nearly as undefeatable.

Enjoy The Good Things Of Life And Be Positive

Sometimes you can forget to enjoy the good things of life if you let stressful events build up. Remember that life offers more things other than work. Reserve some time to actually recognize the good things in your life.

Every situation has both pros and cons. List them both, put them away and take a second look tomorrow. Sleeping on a situation can sometimes changes disadvantages to advantages.

Everything in this world exists in a balance. Negative can never occur without the positive. Learn to find good in your stressful situation and try to change every negative events into positive.

Know Yourself And Your Limitations

To manage stress effectively, it is very important to know yourself and your limitations. Sometimes, learning to say “No” can spare you from stress build up. If you are in a working environment, do not just accept work loads if you think you cannot manage them easily. By recognizing your limitations, you can evade situations that can usually lead to the piling of work.

Most situations can be out of control. Always be positive and refrain from blaming yourself. If you continuously beat yourself with guilt, not only will you not be able to manage your stress but worsen the situation.

People who unsuccessfully use and resort in drugs and alcohol to avoid facing their problems usually find themselves in a twelve-step rehabilitation program. A major stress management tip is asking for help from friends, family or workmates. You are never alone and there are always people around you willing to lend a helping hand. There are professionals and self-help books that can aid you in relieving stress by giving you useful advice.

There are other several ways to help you manage your stress. If you are into books, sometimes taking time by reading your favorite book can help you in putting the problem away from your mind. Taking a warm bath and watching your favorite show on TV can also help you.

By managing and planning your time and prioritizing the most important things first can prevent stress from building up. Always remember that the keyword in better stress management is Relaxation.

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